The two most powerful words

Our choice of words and their repetition are more powerful than we give them credit for.

What we think on repeat creates the life we have because we are creative beings with more power than we’re willing, or brave enough, to acknowledge.

We think we’re the victims of our circumstances, and yes, shitty things happen, but you still have power over how you think about them and how you respond.

Start by noticing your “I am” statements, or because I like contractions, your “I’m” statements, LOL.

I’m an anxious person, I’m too old to go back to school or pivot my career, I’m the only one who does anything around the house, I’m fat, I’m terrible with technology, I’m not smart enough to publish a book, I’m not good enough, I’m so stupid, I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life, etc.

Three things are working against you when you have junk like that circling your brain like a plane that’s in a holding pattern and unable to land yet.

The first is negativity bias. 

Our brains are designed to look for the negative. Our ancestors didn’t need to know which berries were yummy, they needed to know which ones would kill them so they were hyper focused on the dangerous things.

So for our survival, our brains have created deep neural pathways that default to looking for threats and danger.

And in 2026 the danger isn’t sabertoothed tigers or toxic berries, it’s more perceived potential danger in the forms of passive aggressive comments from your MIL, an email from your boss asking you to redo a proposal you’ve done 3 times already, or the 17 things you need to do before you leave for your family’s summer vacation.

We don’t want our brains to stop doing this entirely because it is a brilliant tool for our safety and survival, but we have to know about it so we can decide what’s a real threat and what isn’t, and then decide how we want to respond.

This is how we use the bias for ourselves instead of letting it run willy nilly, highjacking our nervous system, and keeping us hypervigilant 24/7.

When you catch yourself focusing heavily on what could go wrong and you notice that you’re in a headspace of, “everything sucks,” acknowledge and name the bias and then make a conscious choice about how you want to respond and what action you want to take next.

The next bias that’s working against you in this situation is confirmation bias.

Our brains LOVE to conserve energy because we could need it to outrun a sabertoothed tiger, and this is a big reason humans want to be right about everything and so we look for examples and situations that confirm what we already think.

Being “right” means you don’t have to “waste” energy thinking about the other/”wrong” thing. Did you know that the brain uses the most energy of all our organs?! Cool, huh?!

Our brains want you to keep the reserves of energy as high as possible so you can outrun said tiger at any given moment.

This is why we downplay anything that is the opposite of what we think and believe.

If you knocked a presentation out of the park but don’t think you’re a good public speaker or that your slides sucked, you’re going to find fault with what you said and created because it doesn’t match or “confirm” what you believe about yourself.

Your brain isn’t going to naturally allow you to think, “I’m a person who experiences anxiety,” instead of, “I’m an anxious person,” right off the bat. 

It’ll take a little practice which is no big deal and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It only means that you’ve practiced the old thought a hellovalot more than the new one, that’s all!

You’re not broken or screwed up. It’s just a more practiced neural pathway and you’re going to take kitten steps to create a new and better one, that’s all, easy peasy lemon squeezy.

So when you pick a less meany pants thought and start practicing it, your brain is going to create a new pathway AND look for ways that it’s true, and this is using confirmation bias in your favor instead of against yourself, yay!

The third piece to be aware of is just how truly creative and powerful we are! 

I know that can be really uncomfortable to acknowledge but we can call a spade a spade or keep denying the truth and shooting ourselves in the foot, your choice.

Our thoughts are the seeds to everything we feel, do, and their results.

If I have the thought, “I’m so fat,” that creates feelings of shame, disappointment, insecurity, frustration, and inadequacy. 

Then I do things like stay on the couch instead of going for a bikeride, eat a pint of ice cream, talk down to myself, and withdraw from friends and fun.

And my results are continuing to think I’m fat, feel awful about myself, and my body stays exactly the same.

Instead, if I choose to have the intentional thought of, “Bodies are supposed to have fat and I’m going to make better choices starting now,” then I’m accepting my body as it currently is and not arguing with reality, I’m thinking kinder thoughts, maybe choosing to go for a walk with a buddy, do yardwork, or play with my kids (if I had ‘em), make slightly different food choices, and feel more confident in my skin.

Just take one of the three key pieces and slow it way down.

Notice, be aware with a little less judgment.

Be curious with yourself, not mean, because it doesn’t work, so let’s stop for the love!

Then practice using the piece in your favor instead of against yourself.

The things that your spirit and heart desire are possible, you’ve just told yourself they aren’t or that you can’t, and those are just errors in your thoughts and now you have tools to tweak them.

Then start telling yourself positive “I am” statements, like “I am someone who asks for what they need, I am someone who eats when they’re hungry and stops when they’re full, I am someone who is generous and grateful, I am someone who lives in a beautiful place and home, I am someone who let’s go of clutter and doesn’t need to buy stuff to make me feel better.”

When we do this we’re rewiring our neural pathways, our brains will look for proof and evidence to confirm it, and you and the Universe will start working together to create them.

You got this, Sunshine and I’ve always got your back!