Two tools to use when you’re spirialing

We all want to know what the hell we can do for ourselves when we’re spiraling and you *know* I’ve always got your back, Sunshine.

We can’t *think* our way out of a spiral. 

We need to tend to our bodies because 80% of our nervous system’s info comes from our bodies!

Who knew right?!

Here are two of my fave tools that I use throughout my day to regroup, soothe, center, calm, and just check in with my precious and hardworking nervous system.

First, the butterfly hug.

Ok, what’s not to love about the name of this tool?!

Cross your arms over your chest and put a hand on each shoulder.

Slowly start tapping one hand on your shoulder alternating left and right.

For my fellow recovering perfectionists and neurodivergent peeps, it doesn’t matter which arm is crossed in front of the other and it doesn’t matter which hand you tap first. Either is peachy.

Softly and gently alternate tapping one hand and then the other for at least 90 seconds. That’s how long it takes an emotion to move through our bodies.

The crossed arms and alternate tapping engages both hemispheres of our brain which slows the fear center of our brains, the amygdala, helps us move through fight/flight/freeze, and allows us to come into our prefrontal cortex and decide what to do next.

This is what it looks like to show up for ourselves, not abandon or throw ourselves under the bus, and complete the stress cycle. This way we aren’t storing more stress hormones in our bodies and just stuffing our feelings down with pints of ice cream, goblets of margaritas, or 7 things from an online store we really don’t need, not that I’ve ever done or still do those things, LOL.

This is what it looks like to navigate life and be there for yourself because exactly 139 people on the entire planet had someone who did that for them.

Our caregivers did their best with the tools they had. Many of them didn’t have any tools and they let us down.

And now it’s *our* responsibility, as grown a$$ adults, to stop expecting and hoping someone else will do the job for us, and start doing it, and this is how peeps!

The second tool is called bilateral activation. We do it, and it helps, for all the same reasons as the butterfly hug. I like options and different things work for different people.

Take anything small. Your earbuds case, a tennis ball, a pen, and pass it back and forth from one hand to the other in front of your body. 

You can do it under a table, while on a Zoom call, anywhere, and it’s a great tool for kids at school.

Set a timer for a few times a day to do one, the other, or both tools.

You’ll be giving your nervous system a little love, a break, and a reset.

These tools will build a greater sense of internal safety, help you when your normal brain is warning you about a potential threat, and help you get into your prefrontal cortex so you can decide what kitten step to take next.

Simple, doable, supportive.

These are my jam.

I use them, they work for me, and I want you to have them too!

You got this, Sunshine and I’ve always got your back!

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The truth about imposter syndrome