Better instead of perfect

I have a visceral aversion to the word perfect because it’s complete and utter bullshit.

It sets us up for frustration and shame when we try to attain something that’s, wait for it…unattainable and impossible!

And we keep trying to make everything perfect because we subconsciously believe the lie that we’ll be happier or ok when things are perfect. 

Let’s start with that realization and call it out.

So as I’m going about my life, personally and professionally, I’m using a different word.

The word is, better.

Does our third floor still need some work? Yes, I need to get the adhesive off the closet walls where I put the sound proofing squares when I recorded the audio version of my book.

But is it better? Absolutely! I donated and sold things we don’t use and pitched the rest.

Does our backyard look all plush like a golfcourse? Hell no, not with 2 playful dogs, LOL!

But getting rid of our rotting deck, putting down pinestraw, raking the fallen leaves and excess sticks (don’t worry I didn’t take Ginny’s faves), and reorganizing Sully’s grill area make it look so much better!

Is my website perfect? Nope. But I keep making strides in getting it closer to how I want it to look and what I want it to say. I’m really happy with it.

I’m changing my goal from the illusion of perfection to the doable and attainable goal of better.

Most things in life are a process that entails steps. They’re not a one-and-done.

And our brains hate that because it takes more energy to keep it going.

Our brains want us to conserve energy for potential sabertoothed tigers that they legit still think could be lurking around the corner. The primitive part of our brain does not know it’s 2026 and that those kitties are long gone. 

So we just need to be aware of how our brains operate so we can work with them instead of feeling broken and trying to fight against them. 

As I’m puttering around the house working on big and small projects, I’m going for better, not perfect!

When I’m done with something for the time being, I’ll look around and ask myself, “Is it better than when I started?” And of course some projects get “messier” before they get better, but it’s all a part of the process. But overall, I’m moving in the direction I want to go and it is indeed, better.

If you’ve called yourself a perfectionist and want to try a softer and more doable approach to life, use my word, better.

This will take practice and I know we can do it!