Hogwash!
If you believe your thoughts are irrelevant to how your life looks and feels.
If you believe paying attention to and tweaking your thoughts is hogwash, poppycock, malarkey, balderdash, hooey, baloney, or horsefeather; try the following experiment.
Recall a time recently when you felt overwhelmed by a decision.
Like you totally had the deer in the headlights look on your face when thinking or talking about the situation.
The first experiment is to think and say, “I don’t know what to do.”
Notice how that feels in your body.
Did your jaw clench, did your shoulders raise, did your breath get more shallow, did your body tense or take a defensive stance? Are you on high alert or calm-ish? Are you able to sleep well and be present with your people?
Notice what your brain does next and the actions you do or don’t take. Does it want to keep overthinking, racing around from possible solution to possible solution? Is it telling you that you can’t relax, or watch a funny show with your family, or go for a bike ride because you have to FIGURE OUT WTF TO DO?!
What do you do next? Call someone to get the 7th opinion about the situation, scroll on your phone, eat everything that’s not nailed down, yell at your family, catastrophize, lose sleep, and not get one millimeter closer to a good solution?
Your thought of, “I don’t know what to do will take you down a path just like this every damn time.”
It does not serve you in any way, shape, or form.
It keeps you spiraling and your bloodstream filled with stress hormones in case you have to fight or flee.
That’s option 1 and I do not recommend it. Zero stars.
Here’s option 2 of the experiment.
When you notice that overwhelm creeping in, I want you to think and tell yourself, “I’m figuring it out.”
Notice how that feels in your body. What happened?
Did your face and jaw soften even a little? Did your shoulders come out of your ears? Were you able to take a slightly bigger breath? Did your butt unclench? Did you notice your blood pressure was back to normal range?
What did you do next? Were you able to sit for twenty minutes and color with your kids or work on a crochet project you haven’t picked up in weeks? Were you able to have a good belly laugh with your BFF or partner? Did you make plans to go to a museum or try a new fall coffee beverage at your favorite cafe? (Shoutout to GoldLeaf)
The thought of, “I’m figuring it out,” leaves space for solutions because you’re not gearing up for a battle and causing a second layer of suffering for yourself on top of the situation itself.
Our brain will confirm what we tell it.
Every damn time.
It’s called confirmation bias and it’s about damn time we use it in our favor instead of sabotaging ourselves!
“I’m figuring it out,” signals to your brain to look for proof and evidence that you are.
It tells your primitive brain that you’re on the case and it can stand down so you can work with it instead of spending loads of energy and time fighting it.
Our primitive brain has the best of intentions, to keep us safe, but the “software” isn’t up to date, so we need to understand what’s going on so we can get the hell out of our own damn way.
Try this experiment for yourself.
See what happens.
I’m so excited for you because I know what’s on the other side of this experiment!
More power and autonomy in your internal and external worlds and who the hell doesn’t want that?!
You got this, Sunshine and I’ve always got your back!
