How to get unstuck
One of the best ways to get unstuck is to drop the damn story.
Our brains are meaning making machines, and they do it in order to try to make sense of our world because they hate uncertainty because uncertainty = potential threat to our lives.
But unfortunately the story is often wrong (it’s nearly impossible to know the “truth” about something or someone) and we stay stuck in the story and wind up letting it run and ruin our lives.
Part of the reason we hold onto the story for so long is that we believe if we can *just understand* (read think and figure it out) we’ll fix the situation or feel better about it.
The solution is rarely if ever to think about something more, we do that too damn much as it is so consider trying something else…
When an emotion arises and you start to feel the sensation, just describe it.
For example, when I feel anxiety in the morning, instead of trying to figure out why and make it go away, I will say to myself something like, “I notice my heart rate sped up, I feel a buzzing in my body, a sense of urgency, my jaw tightened.”
I didn’t go into why I might be feeling that way or how I’m an anxious mess who can’t start one damn day without anxiety, or jump right to deep breaths. That routine is 1000% useless, shaming, and will only keep you stuck.
Instead I noticed what was going on in my body and named it.
This disengages the story loop, helps show me that I’m just experiencing some sensations, and that they’re not *me* as a person, just some fleeting energy that will pass on its own in about 90 seconds if I don’t jump on the “story bandwagon.”
It can be really easy to want to stay in the story.
“They’re wrong, I have to do it all, my boss sucks, the fact that my parents are aging scares the shit out of me, etc.”
Our stories are also a defense mechanism becuse it’s way easier to keep our stories going than to talk about our hurt, pain, sadness, or grief.
And it’s way, way easier to keep our stories than it is to take a kitten step to be present with those uncomfortable sensations for 10 seconds.
But the more we avoid discomfort the more we train our brains that it’s dangerous, the more we avoid it, the more disconnected we are to ourselves, and the more we live a guarded and fake life.
No thank you.
K, so where do you start?
Notice.
Just notice.
When you experience an emotion, name the sensations and practice dropping any story that you’ve attached to it.
Keep in mind that we’re very attached to our stories for all the above reasons so per usual, this will not be a one and done.
You’re rewiring your brain. It doesn’t take forever, it takes practice, and 1% more compassion.
I’m doing this exact same work right now and it’s making a difference.
You got this, Sunshine and I’ve always got your back!
