A game-changing practice
Our normal brains are wired to scan for danger.
That’s one of the things that’s kept our species around this long.
Without our conscious awareness, our brain scans every space we walk into, even our own home that we’ve lived in for 12 years.
Our primitive brain scans for lions, tigers, and bears.
And if you grew up in a home with any dysfunction or instability, your “detector” might be extra “detect-y” like mine.
I was checking facial expressions, tone, volume, and body language of, well everyone, cuz, safety first…
This scanning and detecting can easily get stuck on the “high setting,” long past the time we move out or are in truly safe environments.
But we can’t “think” our way out of a nervous system pattern no matter how many times we try. Ask me how I know…
And nothing is wrong with you, or me, that we couldn’t.
We have to “talk” to our nervous systems in the language they understand.
That language is a combo of using your body + lots of practice + 1% more compassion.
One of my favorite ways to show my nervous system, and whole self for that matter, that I really am safe, is a tool called orienting.
All you do is bring your attention and awareness to the present moment and space you’re in, look around, and name 3-5 things you see.
This simple nervous system “snack,” shows your primitive brain that there are no lions, tigers, or bears in your space.
It begins to rewire the neural pathway that is constantly looking for danger, and begins to give your brain proof and evidence that you are indeed, safe.
This doesn’t mean that you’re brain is going to stop looking for racing cars when you’re crossing the street, or just go back to sleep if you hear a loud noise at night.
Your brain loves you and wants you to survive! That’s why it’s doing these things!
But the primitive part doesn’t give a crap about your happiness, only your survival.
So that’s where the delicious snack of orienting comes in.
The more you give your brain proof and evidence that you are safe, by scanning and bringing yourself to the present moment, you begin to build internal safety.
And why should you give a crap about building internal safety?
Because when we take kitten steps to build it, we people-please less, we throw ourselves under the bus less, it’s easier to set and keep boundaries, and we start to give ourselves a damn break and turn the volume down on perfectionism.
Sounds nice doesn’t it?
A little more chill, a little less hypervigilant, way more being in your own corner, less needing affirmation from everyone in your life, and more coming back to yourself.
There is no magic pill. No one is coming to save you. You’re not broken. You’re also not alone.
Start with orienting.
It helps pull you from the future scenario you’re imagining.
It brings you out of the past regret you’re stuck on.
It helps you take your next kitten step.
Slow down, take 3 breaths with long exhales.
Look around.
This works.
Give it a try for a week and see what starts to shift inside.
You got this, Sunshine and I’ve always got your back!
