Keeping the “peace”?

Another great question I get asked a lot is, “So how do I start speaking up, asking for help, or start setting a boundary and still keep the peace?”

Short answer: ‘ya probably can’t and that’s ok…

Then I’ll follow up with some gentle questions of my own to gather more data and learn exactly where my client is coming from.

How are you defining peace?

Whose peace is it?

Is it their exterior peace, but your internal war?

What is the real price of the “peace” and is it possible you don’t have to keep keeping it?

This isn’t to say you just give everyone the bird and tell ‘em to f*ck off, although I’m not the boss of you…

We always get to choose our “hard.” 

The hard of practicing a small boundary, or the hard of continuing to subject yourself to terrible behavior.

The hard of leaving the room, or the hard of putting up with *another* comment about your outfit or weight from your MIL.

The hard of asking your kids or spouse to take out the trash, or the hard of ever-growing resentment because you are doing everything around the house.

The only difference is one is very familiar with fairly predictable feelings and outcomes, and the other is new with unpredictable feelings and outcomes.

Familiar discomfort vs unfamiliar discomfort.

The choice is always ours.

Start small, and practice having your back no matter, what because at the end of the day *that’s* what matters!

You’ve got this, Sunshine and I’ve always got your back!

Yes, I am accepting new coaching clients.