What it means to manage your mind
What do I mean when I say, “I managed my mind while at a doctor’s appointment yesterday”?
I mean that when my new Endocrinologist (I have a tiny benign tumor on my Pituitary gland)
said I should have an MRI since my last one was 5 years ago, and my brain freaked out because I don’t like being “in the tube” and it makes me want to scream and fight to get out; I showed up for myself and didn’t spiral all day.
I observed my initial reaction which happened in the blink of an eye. We can’t control it and we don’t need to. Controlling our initial reaction is like trying to stop a wave. That reaction is coming from our primitive brain so it will be primal, not logical.
It’s concerned about my survival in said tube, and doesn’t give a f*ck about any thoughts like, “You’ve done this twice before, you won’t die, just relax.”
Our primitive brains and our prefrontal cortexes speak different languages. That’s not a problem, ‘ya just gotta remember it and proceed accordingly, which is what I did.
Then I named the sensations I was experiencing. “I feel anxiety, my heart rate sped up, I REALLY don’t want to have the test done, and I feel very nervous about being in an enclosed space like that while they run the test.”
Naming the sensations and feelings helps you see that you are experiencing them, but they are not you. This differentiation is so helpful and important because it shows you it’s a temporary experience and not you the person. It’s something you can work with, not a part of your identity!
Lastly, I connected with myself, my environment, or another living thing.
I was feeling scared so I planned to talk to Sully when I got home and ask her to come with me.
Our reactions happen so fast, and we can practice and learn to work with them, so we can show up for ourselves and ask for what we want and need. Not easy I know and practice-able none the less.
Recap:
I had a normal response to something that’s freaked me out in the past.
I named my feelings and the sensations I was experiencing (without judgment as much as possible).
I named what I wanted/needed and took a step to get ‘er done.
Life will always be lifey and there’s no gettin’ out of having challenging experiences.
We change or lose jobs, we start businesses, we start or end relationships, we get a diagnosis, kids graduate, we lose a furry kid or loved one, we want to make friends but it’s uncomfortable, parents get sick, we move, etc.
What I work to do for myself and teach my coaching clients, is not how to eliminate the challenges or hard feelings, but instead how to navigate them, move through them with as much confidence, power, and self-compassion as possible because that IS possible!
