What to do when you’re in a panic

A client reached out to me in a panic.

She had an upcoming doctor’s appointment and was having a hard time, “settling herself.”

She was getting test results and was feeling anxiety about the unknown.

Makes perfect sense; of course she was feeling that way.

The normal and healthy primitive part of her brain was getting her amped up in order to be ready to respond.

It wanted her to be able to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn, and anxiety is a quick avenue to keep us on our toes.

When she was talking, the part that piqued my spidey senses was, “I’m having a hard time settling myself.”

After I affirmed that how she was feeling was completely normal, I suggested she not try to “settle herself.”

She was feeling discomfort from the sensations in her body and wanted them to go the hell away!

I TOTALLY get it! Humans don’t like discomfort. It’s threatening to us if we don’t understand it and work with it.

We can’t and don’t need to stop our reactions or them or make them go away.

We might be able to distract ourselves for a time but they’ll be there again and usually with a vengeance because they won’t allow us to ignore them.

The best thing to do is allow them to move through you. 

Like a wave coming onto the beach.

Don’t try to put the breaks on them because that’s the equivalent of putting one foot on the gas pedal and one on the brake pedal.

Or trying to stop said wave coming onto the beach. It’ll knock you right over and you’ll be so exhausted “for no reason.”

Ask me how I know, LOL!

We need to practice being 1% more comfortable with our discomfort.

We create SO MUCH SUFFERING for ourselves when we’re trying to avoid discomfort! 

We buy sh*t we don’t need, eat more than we need/want, spend a ridiculous amount of time on our phones, drink more than we intend, get defensive and pick fights with our people, and on and on and on…

Two days before my client reached out to me, I had an appointment with my Endocrinologist about a benign tumor on my pituitary gland. 

She suggested I have another MRI to see if it’s the same size since my last one 5 years ago, and my primitive brain did the same thing my client’s did because it’s healthy too.

Here’s what I did to show up for myself and what I suggested my client do to show up for herself.

First, I acknowledged my reaction and said, “This is a protective response.” 

My primitive brain wanted me to pay f*cking attention to what was going on. 

Acknowledge its warning, even though this is the part we try to silence because it’s uncomfortable.

We don’t want to register there *could* be a problem so we ignore it and hope it goes away.

Spoiler alert, it won’t just go away so let’s work with the warning and show up for ourselves instead of ignoring and not trusting what’s happening.

It would be like ignoring your kid or dog if they came to you with a potential problem. 

You wouldn’t completely ignore your crying child or limping dog so let’s stop ignoring your own signals.

Next, describe what’s going on inside.

My heart is racing, my palms are sweaty, and I’m scared about the test.

Then I thanked my brain for being protective of me and “helping” in the only way it knows how.

Next, I asked my body what it wanted me to do.

It might want you to cry, run away, scream, or any number of things.

Do it, no matter if it’s “silly” or “doesn’t make sense.” You’re a mammal, an animal, and you have instincts. 

If you can’t do what it wants to the degree it wants, do it in micro movements.

For example, run away by barely moving your body, imagine yourself ugly crying to release the energy, or do the big thing as soon as you’re able.

Finally, reconnect with yourself.

Look around the space you’re in and name 5 things you see.

Tell yourself the date, including the year, and time of day. This is especially helpful if you’re spiraling about the past or future.

Look or go outside and take in some nature.

Pet your furry kids.

This “protocol” has become second nature for me with lots of frequent little practices because our nervous systems will continue to do their job, aka get activated, and I will continue to work with it and show up for myself.

You aren’t broken or alone.

Our “mission” needs to shift from, seek and destroy, to seek and befriend.

We all have responses to our brain’s warnings and you can take kitten steps to show up for yourself differently and rewire your brain.

You got this, Sunshine and I’ve always got your back!